


Please don't leave me now.

by Chole



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Merdred, Merdred AU, Merlin AU, Merthur - Freeform, ardred, merthur au, perwaine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-03 04:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chole/pseuds/Chole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin have been joined at the hip since they were born. But when Arthur comes out as gay, why does Merlin react the way he does? Could it be he just doesn't care, or is he hiding a secret of his own?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This hasn't been beta'd so sorry for any of the mistakes :) Err I'm going to add a chapter at least once a week, so enjoy :)

Arthur Pendragon and Merlin Emrys had been friends since they where born. Their mums had been best friends growing up and when the found they where both pregnant the women got even closer. Knowing they were both going to have boys, they threw themselves into planning their rooms, and play dates and names. Arthur and Merlin. Amazingly fitting considering their mothers fascination with history and mythology.  
Growing up the boys where like brothers, always together. Some people thought their relationship weird but their parents brushed them aside and where just proud at the two fine boys they were raising.  
When the boys were 8 their parents decided to move into the same house. Arthur having his mother and farther (who was rarely home due to work) and Merlin had only his mother. The boys were ecstatic, refused to have separate rooms and instead had the loft converted into one giant room. Most nights they didn't even sleep in their own beds, they either cuddled up in Arthurs, or the big arm chair in the corner. At the age of 12 although their bodies changed their mindsets didn't, they where still as close as ever. Only when their friends asked about it did Merlin wonder why they are like they are. The two boys had a good solid group of friends when they moved up to secondary school. Percival, Gwaine (who was very openly gay), Leon and Lance.  
When they had their 15th birthday Arthur began to notice his thoughts changing. Everyone else, except Gwaine, was fascinated with girls, Merlin and Percy less so than the others, but they were all interested none the less. Arthur and Merlin still slept together, just not as often. If Arthur had a bad day he would climb into bed and feel a arm snake around his waist. Something twisted in the pit of his stomach and a sense of belonging always filled him when this happened.  
Two weeks later Arthur found himself curled up in Merlins armchair, alone and with tears streaming down his face. He can't be, Merlin would hate him. Everyone would hate him. He is normal, Merlin's never going to look at him the same. Realizing there was no way to hide if from the raven haired boy. He got up went over to their joint desk and began to write.  
Mer,  
You're gunna hate me and think I'm a freak,  
But I want you to know I am sorry,  
I hate myself for it,  
But it just won't stop,  
Merlin. I think I'm gay.  
I'm so so so so so sorry.  
And I understand if you want a separate room,  
but please don't leave me,  
you're my best friend,  
Please don't hate me.  
Arthur.

Realizing his tears were beginning to fall on the page and make the ink run, he rushed to grab his jacket, walked down stairs, calling to whoever was in, informing them he was going for a walk. Exiting the house Arthur began to walk, not really knowing where he was going just knowing he had to be out of the house long enough for Merlin to return and try and think through everything he had told him. Without intention he ended up outside Gwaines house. Not bothering to knock he just walked up into Gwaines room and found him laying on his bed with his headphones on. Looking up and seeing the state Arthur was in Gwaine jumped up and pulled the blond boy onto the bed, cradling him and rocking.  
"You've realized then." Were the only words to leave the Irish boys lips. Arthur said nothing just broke down into body shaking sobs.  
"Merlin's goin-go-goin-going to h-ha-hate me-eh-eh-eh" Arthur tried to tell him between sobs. This time it was Gwaines turn to say nothing, he just hugged Arthur harder and stroked his head soothingly until he noticed his breathing become steady, signaling Arthur had fallen asleep. Sliding out from under him Gwaine got up to check his phone, at the exact moment Merlin rang.  
"Gwaine what the fuck Arthur is GAY!" He screamed down the phone.  
"Woah pipe down mate."  
"But I don't have a fucking clue where he is, if he's ok. You gotta help me find him. He thinks I hate him. What the fuck Gwaine why would he think that!" Merlin was beginning to get hysterical.  
"Chill the fuck out Merlin. Arthur is at mine, he just cried a lot. Said you were going to hate him, I don't have a fucking clue why he thinks that, but he is here, asleep, safe. So chill out. I'll text you when he wakes up, ok, so just calm down and figure out what you are going to say to him, because if you hurt him, and I doubt you will, but if you do, I will personally rip your balls off and make you eat them. Now buhbye." Gwaine knew he was being harsh but he was beginning to get a headache and Arthur was gay, not a fucking terrorist. Everyone was over reacting.  
"Thanks Gwaine." Arthur mumbled looking at him bleary eyed.  
"S'cool. But you're gunna have to face him soon."  
"Soon, but not now." Arthur replied, drifting back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Merlin had gotten home from a study session with Percival and noticed Arthur wasn't home. He checked his phone but saw no miss calls or texts from the blond boy. Thinking this was odd Merlin walked over to their desk to unpack his books when something caught his eye. A piece of paper with messy handwriting and tear stains was left on top of a pile of letters. It read:  
Mer,  
You're gunna hate me and think I'm a freak,  
But I want you to know I am sorry,  
I hate myself for it,  
But it just won't stop,  
Merlin. I think I'm gay.  
I'm so so so so so sorry.  
And I understand if you want a separate room,  
but please don't leave me,  
you're my best friend,  
Please don't hate me.  
Arthur.  
He finished reading it and everything when fuzzy, his head was swimming and his legs were numb. Merlin knew that Arthur wasn't fully straight but the fact he thought Merlin would hate him. That just wasn't possible! Merlin went over to his armchair in the corner and just sat and thought, about the times they slept in each others arms, when they got changed in front of each other. Did Arthur think of him in that way, doubt slowly started to cloud Merlins thoughts. The boy he grew up with suddenly felt like a stranger to him.  
"No stop being a twat. Arthur is still Arthur." He told himself, realizing he needed to talk to the blond boy and reassure him that nothing would change he realized he didn't have a clue where he was, and there was no one in the house to ask. Starting to panic and imagine Arthur lying in a ditch somewhere or stood on the edge of a bridge thinking Merlin would hate him. He began to freak, pulling out his phone he called the person at the top of his recent calls list. Gwaine. Gwaine would know what to do, he knew Arthur amazingly well, they had a bond that Merlin sometimes envied. Gwaine will help find him. Pressing call Merlin began to think about what he was going to say, should he just out Arthur, tell Gwaine everything or should he just say Arthurs missing. The second he heard the Irish boys voice his head just went blank.  
"Gwaine what the fuck Arthur is GAY!" Where the first words to come from his mouth and he regretted them the second they passed his lips.  
"Woah pipe down mate." Was Gwaines reply, why didn't he sound the slightest bit shocked. Arthur hadn't told Gwaine before him has he? Remembering why he called Merlin began to shake.  
"But I don't have a fucking clue where he is, if he's ok. You gotta help me find him. He thinks I hate him. What the fuck Gwaine why would he think that!" The tears where now streaming down his face, showing no sign of stopping.  
"Chill the fuck out Merlin. Arthur is at mine, he just cried a lot. Said you were going to hate him, I don't have a fucking clue why he thinks that, but he is here, asleep, safe. So chill out. I'll text you when he wakes up, ok, so just calm down and figure out what you are going to say to him, because if you hurt him, and I doubt you will, but if you do, I will personally rip your balls off and make you eat them. Now buhbye." And with that the phone line went dead.  
Merlin did nothing. The phone fell from his hand as his sobs shook his body. Arthur told Gwaine first. Gwaine, but him and Merlin were like brothers, they were the first to know everything. Arthur hated him, and was scared the Merlin would hate him. He didn't know what to do, or why he felt so angry at the thought of Arthur being cradled by Gwaine as he wept. What would he say to Arthur, would everything be different. Was their bond broken. A whole new round of hysterics hit Merlin when he thought about that. He couldn't loose Arthur, just the thought of it made the raven haired boys heart ache. "No. No. No.NO" Merlin screamed at nothing. Fighting off all the voices in his head telling him he had lost Arthur, that Arthur had Gwaine now. That they had each other, bonded by their difference. No. Arthur was Merlins and Merlins alone. No one and nothing would change that!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I promise an update by 5th of March at the latest. Got a lot going on right now. Sorry guys :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a kind of fluffy filler. The next few chapters are going to heat up a bit :O

Arthur knew he had to face Merlin some time, Gwaine had told him Merlin wouldn't care but still the thought of losing his best friend terrified him. Merlin wouldn't want to sleep with him any more, he wouldn't feel comfortable around Arthur and it killed him, he had ruined their relationship. If only he had kept it hidden, he didn't need to tell Merlin, why the fuck did he. And why had he gone to Gwaine, Percys house was closer and he knew he was in yet he still went to Gwaine, it felt good talking to him thought. Gwaine was so level headed when he needed to be, and had a way of making people see things the way he did. He had told Arthur he was the exact same person. "You love who you love." Were his exact words. "And that makes you who you are. Arthur you are amazing and caring, just because you don't look at girls in a sexual manner it doesn't make you any different. It just makes you, you and if they are really your friends they won't care. Knowing Lance he will probably just say 'Cool, more chicks for me!' Seriously mate don't worry about it. And remember I am always here, I know what you are feeling, and I know I look like a smoking hot sex god, but I am also your friend. So go and face him, he deserves that at least. And if the worst does come to the worst, you can crash here, but I really doubt that will happen." Gwaine had left him then, to sit and think in peace, and he had stayed there, curled up on his friends bed for the past 2 hours. Deciding it was time to face his friend Arthur walked out of Gwaine house saying nothing, noticing his friend nod as he passed through the kitchen to the front door. The walk home was one felt like one of the longest journeys ever. Dragging his feet down the road, not caring if they were getting scuffed the blond ran through what he was going to say. What felt like and eternity later, but still too soon, Arthur arrived back at his front door. Taking a deep breath in he opened the door, noticing none of the parents were home yet. This was good, Arthur told himself, if it all kicked off with them both no one would hear them.  
Slowly he began to climb the stairs. Reaching the top he pushed the door open to see Merlin asleep on Arthurs bed, dry tear tracks streaking his face. About to bolt back outside, he saw Merlin stir.  
"Alright mate?" Merlin said, sleep still strong in his voice, eyes still closed.  
Arthur exhaled in relief.  
"Not really but shit happens, you know?"  
"Yeah." Merlin sighed, sitting up.  
"I'm so sorry M. I don't want to be but I am, I always knew I was different, you know, and I just decided I couldn't lie anymore." Arthur walked over the their armchair and fell it it, tears slowly forming in his eyes.  
"Hey, come here, I don't care. Arthur you are you. And you love whoever you want. I don't have a fucking clue why I would hate you, I don't, I never could! Ever! Seriously Arthur come here!" Merlin said, standing up and tugging Arthur onto the bed.  
"Merlin I'm scared, people are going to hate me." Arthur began to get hysterical again.  
"Shh. Arthur shh, calm down, whatever happens I will always be here. Shhh" Merlin spoke into Arthurs hair. They where tangled up on the bed, Merlins arms were rapped about Arthur.  
And that is where Arthur woke in the morning, head on Merlins chest, legs tangled and a smile on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been 8 months since Arthur had come out to everyone, and to his surprise not many people cared, there were the few people that looked disgusted at him, called him names, but Arthur could handle that. He was happier than he had been in a very long time and some pathetic little homophobic twats were not going to make him any less proud of who he was.

Arthur was sat in the back of math class with Percival talking about the pros and cons of having hair like Gwaine when he walked in. He wore a very tight pair of skinny black jeans with white converse, a over sized grey knitted jumper and a beanie to match. He was a little on the short side with dark curly hair that curled over the bottom of his hat, sharp cheek bones and the most piercing eyes Arthur had ever seen, the colour was similar to Merlins however this boys reminded Arthur of the ocean a deep blue with flecks of green, whereas Merlins seemed to resemble the sky, crystal clear and baby blue. But when this boy spoke Arthurs heart stopped, his voice was so soft and smooth, he was well spoken but had a hint of a welsh accent in amongst it. The blond only realized his mouth was open when Percival lent over and pushed his jaw back up. The unknown boy walked up to Arthurs table and asked to sit as there where no other spaces.

"Uh-um, yeah sure." Arthur stumbled.  
"Cheers mate, I'm Mordred." He said sitting down and smiling at the blond.  
"So, uh, you're new right?" He cursed himself inside for being so cheesy.  
"Aha, no shit, just moved, my mam wanted a fresh start so dragged me to London, I mean I'm 18 next year so I guess I could go back then, but don't reckon I'll be able to leave mam here on her own. Sorry just like told you my life story their." Mordred said tilting his head back as he laughed causing Arthur to see his neck and suddenly imagine kissing it teasingly as the boy moaned his name.  
"Um, helloooo, what's your name?"  
"Huh what?" Arthur said, snapping out of his slightly inappropriate day dream. Percy lent over and punched the blonds shoulder.  
"I'm Percival, call me Percy and this dip shit here is Arthur, sorry we think he was dropped on his head as a kid, but he hasn't regained the memory yet." He said with a wink.  
"You're shitting me right, Percival and Arthur, next you'll be telling me you're brothers called Merlin."  
"Um well, he's not my brother, but we're like brothers." Arthur said with a smirk.  
"No way." Was Mordreds only response, eyes wide, mouth gaping.  
"Yup, tell you what, seeing as you're the newbie we'll adopt you and introduce you to the boys, that's cool right Arthur." Percy said with a secret nudge of the leg. "Um yeah sure, you look like you'd get on with Merlin." Arthur agreed with a smile. "You sure? I don't wanna like intrude or anything." Mordred questioned. "Nah mate it's cool, we were beginning to get starved of new blood." Percy said with a wink just ask the teacher dismissed the class. "Woah, that was a short class." Mordred looked confused. "Haha no mate, you just walked in 15 minutes before the end of lesson." Arthur chuckled walking through the door to be faced with a mob of hungry teenagers. "Now, let's go find the boys." Arthur shouted whilst grabbing Mordreds wrist, trying to ignore the shot of electricity he felt when they made contact.


End file.
